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I'm getting real with you

I’m about to get #reallife on you all here. I’m forgetting all grammar conventions and just going to tell you straight! If you take the time to read all this, thanks! If you haven’t got the time just take away that life gets dirty sometimes, and messy, and exhausting, but it’s still all worth it!

It’s 2 am I’m sleeping peacefully in my bed. Kabaam!

...Oh my god my hip what the heck…
I reach down, M!

“Get off of me!” I grumble.

“But I had a bad dream” she shouts back.

“Get off you hurt me! I’ve told you don’t jump into our bed like that. You could have hurt Baby Z. Get off!”

“No” She slams her head down on my thigh.

I shake her off and get up and pace the room trying to walk the pain off. I take a deep breath to calm down.

“M get out of my bed, you know you can’t sleep in there while I’m pregnant. Sleep on the floor bed here.” I point to the mini bed made up on the floor for just such an occasion as this. “You may NOT sleep in our bed tonight young lady.” I stress my point and head to the bathroom.

Upon returning to the room she has moved the mini bed over right up against my side of the bed and I can’t get in my bed. Deep breath, I just want to go back to sleep.

“M, you need to move over I can’t get in bed.” I say with as much patience as I can muster at 2:15 am with a sore hip and sleep deprivation.

“You can climb in from the bottom.” She snaps at me.

...What the heck, stop the attitude girl this is my room…

“M, you hurt me! Even if you hadn’t I can’t climb into the bed from the bottom right now. Either go back to your room or move over.”

I glance at hubby in the dark… how the heck is he still sleeping through this?

M moves a few inches, whatever that will do. I climb into bed take a deep breath and hear her move the bed back.

“M if I have to get up and use the bathroom again I’m going to forget you are there and I’m going to step on you. Please move the bed back a few inches.”


Lock jaw deep breath… why is she being such a turd right now?

Thump, thud crash, creak.

… no no no! Not the boys now too!!

“Get back in bed please.” I say as sweetly as possible.

Silence. Deep breath. Sounds of a waddling diaper coming down the hall… E! He’s too little to climb back into his bed. Up I go. Down I go.

“Dang it M move the bed. I already forgot you were there.” I rub the carpet burn on my knees from tripping over her. I’ll deal with her after I tuck E in. Must get to him before he sees M in our room and thinks he can stay. Scoop him up and carry him back to his room.

Onto his bed he goes, but he’s not letting go of my neck. Wimper from me. Deep breath, ok I can snuggle with him for a minute or two.

Whisper a prayer into his ear, kiss his forehead and rub his little back. Mommy is here, buddy, you are fine PLEASE go back to sleep! Tick tock, tick tock. Ok buddy I’m too tired for this and you can snuggle this giant teddy bear. Gently pull him off, roll him over a little, kiss his head, turn the sound machine back on, he’s awake, but he’s staying in bed all is well.

Walk into my room see the clock, no don’t look at it, it will only stress you out… 3:15.


Don’t cry, don’t cry. Why is she still awake?

“Yeah Mad it’s me, you have school tomorrow you need to sleep.”

“I had a bad dream.”

“I know. Let’s pray.”

Whispered prayers for peaceful dreams and more patience for mommy. Climb back into bed, look at hubby… How does he sleep through all of this?

“Mom?” silence “will you hold my hand?”

Deep breath, roll over onto my still sore hip and drop my hand over the side of the bed. Little fingers slip into my hand. God thank you for this sweet child, please forgive me for being so irritable, help me to sleep. Don’t look at the clock, don’t look at the clock!

A tiny hand gently slips out of mine, at last she’s asleep, my arm is so numb and my shoulder hurts. Wiggle fingers roll shoulder. Roll over to be more comfortable, don’t look at the clock… 4 am. It’s fine I can sleep now what’s the loss of two hours of sleep?

Bedroom door creaking open again, diaper waddling own the hall. NO! Fine I don’t care just climb into bed with mommy. E tosses and turns for 15 minutes and actually manages to wake the hubs up who pushes him over closer to me... ouch I’ve got a belly you guys!

E suddenly sits up and starts crying for my water. Oh he’s thirsty that’s why he’s having a hard time going back to sleep. I pass him the water thinking that at last we can all go back to bed. He passes me the water bottle back and I put it on the bed table.
What did I just hear? Heaving. NO! He’s going to blow! I throw all the pillows within range off the bed… onto M who I forgot was right there, now she’s up.

Blah, blah, blah… Lights on! Puke everywhere, but the pillows have been saved.

I look at hubby who is at last awake but wearing the same irritated look I had on a few hours ago. He puts a pillow between him and E and rolls over back to sleep. How the heck does he do that?

“M you have to go back to your room. You have school tomorrow and you need to sleep, this is going to take a while. Turn your light on and your music, I don’t care. You have to go to your room though.”


My head is going to explode, what did she just say?

“M go to your room now?” I turn to hubby can he possibly still be sleeping? He’s not, praise God! “J please deal with her while I deal with this.”

“M go to your room.” He says once and off she goes turning on EVERY single light on her way. Deep breath I’ll deal with the lights after I clean this up.

I grab a towel and return to the room… hubby is back asleep… how the heck does he do that.

I wrap E in the towel set him down in the bathroom and start stripping the bed. “J you have got to get up, there is vomit all over the place you can’t sleep in it!”

He pushes his pillows off the bed and rolls out. I pull off the rest of the sheets and take them straight to the laundry room and get fresh linens. I turn off all the lights on my way back. The room is empty… where did hubby go? Maybe he went to sleep in the guest room. Fine he’s got to work tomorrow that’s probably best. Set linens on bed, hubs stumbles out of the bathroom, there he is.
“Please put those on the bed while I clean this guy up.”


Enter bathroom… Where is E? I hear the sounds of toy cars from my closet, there he is. Strip down the baby, yuck he still stinks. Big sigh, turn on a warm shower and pop him in. He’s smiling now and has his cars. Alright you are clean now! Wrap him up in a towel and carry him back to the room and set him on the mini bed. Glance over at our bed… half of it is made and hubby is already out cold, seriously how does he do that?

“Stay here while I go get a diaper.” I whisper to E.

Down the stairs I go. Ouch, my hip really hurts. Diaper attained, back up the stairs I go. I’m going to have a bruise in the morning.

Diaper put on baby, towels laid down on mini bed in case of a repeat performance from E. Kiss is forehead, still no fever, he’ll be fine. Big sigh, do not look at the clock! Crap it’s 4:45 am now. Oh well just get in bed, find all my pillows, tuck sheets in. Climb into bed, close eyes, and… My hip hurts so stinking bad. I can do it I can fall back to sleep. Glance at clock, my alarm goes off in an hour, is it worth it? Do I just drive the kids to school today set the alarm ahead 30 minutes? NO! Routine stick with the routine or M will be a mess.

Inner pep talk, you got this. Just take it easy tomorrow. All those plans for deep cleaning the kitchen… forget them. That can wait until Wednesday. Just rest, it’s ok. Just take it easy. 5:30 Don’t stress about it, some days are meant for laying on the couch and watching TV…

Beep Beep Beep 6 am and it’s time to get up. Here we go!