I overcame my anger and you can too

addictedtoanger

I sat in a circle of women at a Christmas party for the ladies or our church at the time. I had been asked to speak beforehand and share about what God was doing in my life, I’m not the biggest fan of speaking in front of a large group of people but in this instance, I was particularly apprehensive. You see what I had to say wasn’t going to be all peaches and roses. I was going to have to confess that I was empty and frustrated and tired. I couldn’t feel God, I was wasn’t doubting Him, but I didn’t really want to spend time with Him either.

I had debated saying something cheerful, after all, I had 4 wonderful children and Jason’s new business venture was flourishing, I could have easily said life was good. I knew at least two of the women in the circle would see through my BS though and probably call me out on it, so I figured going straight for the truth seemed to be the path of least resistance.

It was my turn and I tried to hold back the tears I knew would come. I confessed I was tired, so completely tired. Our 4th baby was 10 months old and still very colicky. He didn’t sleep through the night, not even close. He cried most of the day long and wouldn’t nap. He hated the car seat and would cry until he couldn’t breathe so taking a drive to get him to nap wasn’t an option. I was trying to homeschool our 2 oldest children, and the poor 3rd child just wanted attention.

I cried because, through all this chaos, I hadn’t even been able to pray. I didn’t think God would answer my prayers. As a child, I had prayed regularly and often well past an hour in length. I had always thought prayer was a gift of mine, but suddenly I was unable to pray.

Read more: I overcame my anger and you can too

The death that changed my life

Jason had a great grandmother that lived to nearly 110. She passed away two weeks before her birthday and for the first 10 years of our marriage, I had the privilege of getting to know her and hear about her life. She slowly moved towards dementia and her ability to share her life stories faded away. She faced so many challenges in her life and lived through 2 world wars. As I would sit with her talking I had always wished I could have read her journal from when she was younger so I could better understand all that she went through.

I wrote out my experience of the events below the day after they happened so that if one day any of my children or grandchildren were ever curious about my life, the life I have outside of them, they would be able to learn more. This event most definitely affected and shaped me and had trickle-down effects on my life for years to come. So here it is, Micah’s story.

hisdeathchangedmylife

At 36 weeks pregnant, that’s considered early full term, my friend noticed some spotting. It was after hours and her doctor sent her into the hospital where they hooked her up to all the monitors and discovered Micah’s heart was no longer beating. She perhaps was in shock, but she was not without hope. She called several of us and asked us to pray boldly for a miracle. Along with one other friend, I went straight to the hospital to be with her.

We prayed for hours as her body went into labor. I had no shadow of a doubt in my mind that all would be well. As I prayed I just kept seeing Micah be born and take a sudden gasp of air, over and over I saw it. I believed this was God’s way of encouraging us to keep praying and giving us hope that the miracle we wanted was about to happen.

Read more: The death that changed my life

Neighbors App

We now have an awesome outdoor video light, to read my review of it click here. But before we had that light we didn’t have a view of our front yard. One night J and I went out on a date and when we returned home we discovered his car was not where we left it in the driveway. It was halfway out in the street.

We were intrigued by what could have happened. His car is very old with a ton of miles on it, but we keep driving it because it is paid for and it still runs. This beat up old car is not worth stealing, trust me, and it is a manual so we generally think of it as theft proof. Without a Ring Doorbell ourselves we didn’t have a way of knowing how his car was moved.

I have a free app by the Ring Doorbell people, so I opened it up to see if anyone in our area was reporting attempted car theft. No reports had been made, but I was able to discover our neighbor across the street has a Ring Doorbell that is aimed our way and could decipher what had happened. I promptly applied to them to check their video recordings and we were able to discover that a very hefty gust of video had popped the car out of gear and it had rolled back on it’s own. OH MY!

If you don’t have a Ring Doorbell yourself you can still benefit from your neighbors who might have one that is aimed in your direction. Through this app you can share your footage with a wider audience to help solve and prevent crimes. You don’t have to own a Ring Doorbell to use the app or view the uploaded footage and crime reports. Downloading the app will even give you a free $10 coupon for the purchase of a Ring Doorbell, invite your neighbors to download the app and you’ll get an additional $10 coupon for each of them.

download ring app

Paying off our Student Loans

I can hardly believe it is over and I have no clue what it actually means to no longer have student loans. For the first few years of our marriage, we were broke college students and then we were broke college graduates paying off our loans. The reality of what it will mean to have that money available for things like retirement savings and family vacations is unfathomable

This has been a tough journey, a long journey, a journey that has required sacrifice and dedication. I have at times doubted whether or not I had what it would take to cross the finish line. Let’s take a look back at the starting line though to get a full picture of the story.

Surviving Student Loans

Why I went to college


This is not a simple answer as it is a multifaceted problem with lots of factors that affected my decision. My home life in high school really sucked. Without going into details let me just say I had a need to escape and get away from my situation and college was the easiest path out for a upper-middle-class white girl with stellar grades.

I had worked very hard and earned a full ride scholarship and research position at a college across the country studying astrophysics. This was my ticket away from my current situation. I had doubts about whether or not astronomy was really what I wanted to study. I’m an introvert but I thought I might perhaps get lonely cooped up in a laboratory or observatory crunching numbers all day, but it was my way out. I also wasn’t entirely comfortable with being the only girl in the room in most situations. Yeah, there are tons of movements for women in science these days, but back then I worked entirely with men - mostly socially awkward men.

Read more: Paying off our Student Loans

Kuna - Maximus Video Surveillance Camera

kunalightapp

Growing up in a small town on a border state I thought I knew a fair amount of crime. Mostly car theft as vehicles were frequently stolen and brought across the border for parts and other uses my young innocent brain couldn’t fathom.

We now live in a large city with a major international airport and I have been introduced to a new and different level and degree of crime. Cars are not stolen as often as they are broken into but that is small change compared with this new and scarier crime, human trafficking. Unfortunately, the county in which we reside is on the top of the list for this crime. It is a thing that regularly gives my mom heart much trouble.

A few months ago the neighborhood next to ours had a horrifying incident in which a young girl was stalked and an attempt to kidnap her was made. The girl was safely able to get away thank goodness! Thanks to the wonderful invention of video doorbells the footage of the incident was immediately and widely circulated on social media.

This incident was sufficient enough to scare me into purchasing a video monitoring device myself. Our front door sits back away from the house via an outer walkway that blocks much of the view to the street, because of this I had decided that a doorbell device wouldn’t suit our situation. I did some research and settled on a Kuna video light. Kuna’s desire to stop crimes before they can occur was in line with my vision and desires so I ordered one straight away.

Read more: Kuna - Maximus Video Surveillance Camera

Follow Me

Categories

*We use afliliate links on this site. To read our full policy Click Here.

Made with love by Caitlyn. All rights Reserved.